The Return of the Divine Feminine?
The Churches were the last thing I had considered upon the start of the Pilgrimage and I’ve never spent so much time in them.
I’ve never really had a deep connection the words Witch, Priestess, High Priestess, Medicine Woman and the like… even though I could say, and others reading here perhaps, that I am these and more. But stepping into Churches, I have historically always experienced a shudder, experienced an unwelcoming feeling, bringing a suppression of self. I would have been considered a Witch by the Clergy in times gone by, as well as today. Many of us would. Read the weekly horoscope? Rub some dock leaf on a nettle sting? Carry some crystals in your bra? These would have been considered Witchcraft.
The word I resonate with so much I suppose is simply, Woman.
For me, this feels like title enough, because everything the Woman holds, births and brings, is beyond anything else.
It’s also feels important to point out that much of what was hunted out in the Witch trials, were the things that women were, and are, naturally very powerful at doing; such as using herbs for medicine, living in sync with the moon, understanding the power of their bodies, all for the greater good of their communities.
And yet, the Woman was considered the downfall of Man, simply by existing.
This just makes no sense; it does not feel true.
So, the idea of being a woman, walking on my own along the Pilgrim’s Way, visiting Churches; the places I had past experienced of not feeling welcome or comfortable and a place where you have to do things a certain way, walk a certain way, speak a certain way, be quiet, be small … basically everything that’s the opposite of all that I celebrate and encourage for all.
Yet, here I was, finding myself spending time in these places. Pondering on the images, the peace, the Church Wardens and fellow Pilgrims, in between the wanders through woodland, mountain and coast. A contrast of the Masculine buildings and the Feminine openness of nature.
I found myself walking in exploration of what lies beneath, what were the layers of stories, beliefs covering Truth. We may consider Truth as in beliefs that we have had taught, rules and morals in which to live by, encouraging the dismissal our own body autonomy, intuition and own ability to choose what is true, for ourselves. On this walk I was interested in exploring all that remained hidden and covered.
As I rested in the Church buildings, finding a kettle and cup as I paused along the way, I realised I was slowly able to find comfort in these buildings. These Churches I found to be open and welcoming, with Church wardens taking time to find a kettle if there wasn’t one and locals calling across to say the church was open and how I was welcome to rest there. These were new experiences I was gratefully receiving.
I realised that at the beginning of the Pilgrimage, I had been meeting churches with the same judgement I had previously experienced from them. I was mirroring that judgement. And so, when I compassionately realised this aspect of myself, I was able to take responsibility for my response and how I approached these places that other people visited for their own worship.
A new feeling was also becoming apparent on entering these places. For the first time I was feeling the presence of the Divine Feminine. I could see it within the Rose, the images of Mary, the altars made of moss. Something was changing and emerging.
The Divine Feminine is an aspect within many monotheistic religions that has been erased, hidden and suppressed. I’ve felt all the emotions around this, but I have especially been intrigued by this – what lies beneath this story?
I find it curious that during the pilgrimage, not one person asked me about my faith, beliefs, why I’m doing the Pilgrimage, what do I stand for. There was curiosity, absolutely, but there was no judgement. It was simply accepted. And upon my return, I was surprised by some people started asking what my faith is, why I did the Pilgrimage … and it’s led me to wonder, why that matters. Does it matter what I believe in? Does having a religion or certain faith or belief system allow people to categorise whether someone is a ‘good’ person or not? Is it simply easier for people to know so that they can put them in a box of whether they are right or wrong, good or bad? I’m curious if there is something there around the importance people may feel in finding out whether someone is considered a ‘good’ person or not … being the ‘good’ girl, which is so celebrated in history, culture and society.
I have experienced mocking of Spirituality, of talking about the moon, of women’s monthly bleed and the prejudice from people around the way I live and life choices I have made. Reading this, maybe you have to? What I feel it comes down to is, judgement. Are you a good person or a bad person? Are you doing it the ‘right way or wrong way’? And what does that even mean? What does being good mean? Because it feels like most people are just living life in the best way that they can, with what they have and know. Perhaps the idea of judging someone if they are being ‘good or bad’, is just a way to have power over something or someone else?
Which brings me to the Apple, or the Forbidden Fruit.
The Forbidden Fruit was eaten by Adam and Eve, from the Tree of Knowledge and upon doing so, they suddenly realised that they were naked and became aware of ‘good and evil’, of good and bad. Woman was then branded the root of all sin, because of choosing to eat the fruit.
Now, I don’t know about you, but as a natural learner and teacher, I adore finding out new things and I absolutely feel the truth that Knowledge holds Power for our own sovereignty. How can you make an informed decision if you don’t know the full facts? Maybe the biting of the Forbidden fruit allowed Adam and Eve to see with new eyes, to have the opportunity to learn, live within their own sovereignty, autonomy, responsibility, kindness and compassion of each other?
The story has run through history, and still today through society, religion and cultures, both obviously and sometimes subtly, and has brought a painful separation and disconnection to the Divine Feminine.
It has led to warped ideas of what it means to be a woman, of how to behave, speak, live and how to connect in relationships, express, feel and move through life. To fully express ourselves as women can feel dangerous, and for understandable good reason.
We need more women to express themselves fully, though. We need the rise of the Feminine to filter through us, bringing the unconditional love and creativity into the world.
Beneath the layers of ritual, order, rules and control that some religions bring, is the underpinning of Truth, and that is simply Loving consciousness.
The Divine Feminine brings love in her array of expressions; from her passion, her ferociousness, her gentleness, her sensuality, her devotion, her mess, her compassion and her embrace. She is fully here. She demands us to be present and here in our bodies. Many religions teach us that our bodies are not important, to feel shameful of, to dislike and to be super spiritual, we must transcend and leave our bodies. But it is within our bodies that the alchemy of true love is contained and connected to.
To bite the apple is to taste that freedom of self, expression, love and truth.
Which is why it was so important to freely take my body along the Pilgrim’s Way, fully present, with the freedom and liberation of carrying all that I needed on my back, into these Churches and Sacred Spots, feeling the emotions and moving with all that was arising.
By the end of the pilgrimage, I was seeking out the churches for rest, feeling a little more at home and comfortable, as a woman, taking my body into these buildings.
Will they be my new place of worship? No; by the Apple tree, the grass, the clouds and the mountains are the places that I feel the most connection to the Divine Love and myself, but I am truly grateful for all that they offered and taught me on this Pilgrimage. Most importantly though, my place of worship will be wherever I go, as a part of nature, because there I am, in my body, as my own Temple. A fully nourished, embodied Woman.
