What’s in a word?

Words have not come that easily to me this year.

I have at times been lost for words, deep in a moment, questioning how attached they may be to the ego and how, for me, they often just don’t seem enough.

‘What’s in a name? That which we call a rose,

By any other name would smell as sweet.’

-William Shakespeare

I tire easily of labels, of naming experiences, of attaching some kind of achievement to an experience. I can feel how it loses the sacredness.

I have been deep in feeling, a beautiful array of feelings.

And so I have had little words to share with you here.

But here I am sharing some words anyway…

As I walked last week I met a dear friend, albeit I felt like I was wishing that we were more friends than they did, as they received me as more of an acquaintance.

‘I know you!’ as I met Blackthorn on my ramble.

‘No. No, you don’t know me.’ I was corrected.

In full gratitude and grounding of this reminder of how little I do know, I responded. ‘No, you’re absolutely right, I don’t know you.’

Blackthorn lives along the hedgerows outside my door, but here on this land, I did not know this Blackthorn, and was naïve to presume so.

Blackthorn then began to say something, to share something with me.

‘Here lie-eth…’

‘Here… lie-eth’

Looking around, I asked ‘Here lie-eth what?’ confused.

Responding to me clearly and loudly, as if I was totally stupid, ‘Hiraeth.’

‘Ah! Hiraeth. Hiraeth, I understand. Thank you dear Blackthorn.’

Hiraeth is a Welsh word that is not so easily translated into English, perhaps there are no other words that fit or give it the same sacred meaning?

I believe that Hiraeth translates to a deep love and longing for something or someone, a nostalgia, a homesickness. And as I continued my walk, on a land that felt like home I could feel the essence of Hiraeth emerging. I could feel the homesickness of a land that missed the ways that were, the language that was spoken, not of human language but of its language. I tried to sing the Welsh anthem to the land, in which I was laughed at – ‘it’s too human, it is not of us’  

Yes, you’re so right, I agreed.

We presume to know more, but in fact, I find that the more I learn, the less I know.

In this world of over sharing, I was reminded on my walk, of how words or experiences sometimes, cannot be translated easily. How we don’t always have to have the words, we don’t have to share with others, we can simply feel the essence of something, an experience, a moment. Maybe it’s our ego that likes to have the words – it helps us categorise ourselves perhaps?

I know the words will come, but for now I am enjoying not having so many words.

It’s rather lovely in fact.

I’m in gratitude to the Blackthorn and their reminding me of not to presume anything, to remain innocent and ready to listen and learn at any given moment. There is much to be heard and received.

So, I will return to myself and my quest to continue finding words that suit me, the land, that feel real, sacred and true.

Some words will stay in my heart and some words I will share with you, in time. But for now, I will sit, walk and listen.

With blessings,

J x