When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender some more.

Oof, 2025. Already you have come in and swept me off my feet. In the best possible way.

I think the last time I appeared here on any social platform, I was stating that I was going to be sharing my processes with you, upon my approach to May’s pilgrimage. Pah! The eclipse season had other ideas.

There’s no denying it, the last few weeks of Winter and especially ‘that’ eclipse season swallowed me right up and chewed me up good, with physical manifestations of viruses and infections; I lost my voice, breathing uncomfortably and rebuilding my body; the only thing I could do was to lean in and listen, not out of fear or reluctancy – I surrendered to it. I really listened to what was needed and loosened my grip on life, of everything, with the only option to trust what I was being shown and felt. And changes have been made; my life and my family’s life has been, and still is, in the process of great change. For the better, already bringing immense joy and love. Exhaling a big… Ahhhh.

The biggest thing that I’ve been hearing over the last few of months is ‘Privilege’.

14 years ago, I made a bold decision. I didn’t want to live the way I was living. I didn’t want to feel the way I was feeling. I didn’t want my children to experience what they were experiencing. I decided it had to change, there was no question, it all had to change.

And so, rather than waiting for someone to come along and make it all better, I quickly realised it was down to me. So, I began.

 At the time, the quality of life for my family was not thriving, we were barely surviving. But I began by questioning and changing things, and the most impactful way I started was by identifying my privilege – where could I be grateful in the darkest and most challenging of moments?

It’s all too easy to feel grateful on a beautiful spring day, with freedom to walk on your own or alongside your loved ones, with a hot flask of tea. I began to question myself – what can I be grateful for in any given moment, for example, when my daughter was in resuscitation in a&e again? It was a grounding practice, a presence practice of being in the moment – because anything else in those moments was just too much to feel.

I began to expand it, I started to see where I wanted my family to be and feel. I didn’t control it, but I got clear on what I desired, and I strived for it, with determination, gratitude and love.

It’s important to note here, that as with any desire for change, it doesn’t always instantly happen – the energetic imprint of what has been the norm for so long, can be deeply embedded and so for the change to occur, an immense amount of faith and trust are needed, consistently over time. Because before things changed and improved, they first got much worse with my daughter’s health for a minute back there.

But I held onto my vision, trust and hope. Mainly because, at that time, I had nothing else to hold onto.

Fast forward and leap ahead to today, where we are celebrating the 10 year anniversary of life changing brain surgery that my daughter had on 15th April 2015.

It completely transformed my daughter’s life and ours as a family. The fact that I now have time and space to write this blog with a hot coffee, that I can dance in the kitchen with my children, that I can get up and go out for a walk are absolute privilege.  

And so, I return to the privilege that I’ve been reflecting on over the past few months. The life that I dreamed of over a decade ago, is in full swing today. The freedom of simplicity, safety, joy and love are the things I held dearly for a long time.

My life is full of privilege, that I perhaps would have once felt shameful of, but it’s recently been made very clear to me that I need to use my privilege for positivity and change.

We all do.

Know your privilege…

And use it.

There can be shame around privilege and perhaps a desire to deny it. But I have been questioning myself and I offer it to you too – how can our privilege be used for the greater good?

Where can your privilege be used to create?

My processes during the eclipse season for my upcoming Pilgrimage have been deep and quiet, I went all in and made adjustments, acknowledging my privilege as I did so, for myself and my family that, already, feel amazing and freeing.

So, after being all chewed up by the eclipse season - rather than being spat back out, I feel like I’ve been delivered up on a delicious dining plate full of my favourite food, welcoming with open arms my next steps forward, to I’m not entirely sure exactly where or what the rest of the year has in store, but hey ho, I’m trusting and I’m here for the ride!

Much love,

J x