Barbie… a new Goddess or another one of us?

A week on from walking into the cinema with my own Birkenstock-ed flat feet, to see the new Barbie film, it’s taken me this time to start finding words to what I feel about this film and what it’s brought up.

I found it amusing…  and it may be controversial, but I didn’t love the film (stay with me on this, let me explain)

Yes, it addresses some topics of the Patriarchy, the imbalances of living in the real world and some issues with misogyny... thankfully we are waking up to issues that women are facing in reality everyday and more importantly, women have more avenues available to voice their experiences and reality.

I loved that it used the term ‘existential crisis’, as we saw Barbie descend and start to question her life and what was happening as she no longer started to fit within the world she was in… or should I say fit into the high heeled shoes, which led her to the dreaded visit to see ‘weird barbie’ ( my fav character btw)

And I loved the fact that Barbie cried and continued to cry through her descent, even to the point of despair and lay face down on the earth, refusing to move (if you’re ever curious, where I’ve gone when life gets overwhelming, it’s pretty much in that same position) and she was ok with it, it was a necessary part of her experience, which she found hugely beneficial. I felt this like was a big sigh relief for a big screen to be sharing that with the world. I’m t.i.r.e.d. of the concept being that crying should be done in private/sign of weaknesses.

And I also loved the ridiculousness of the gammon faced board room members (who were men in this scenario, if you haven’t seen it) and the fact that Barbie world was run by these characters from the real world; it felt silly and tried to be lighthearted but with an undertone of insanely… heavy accuracy.

What I did land on that made me react was the glorious character of the mum who came back to Barbie world and gave the speech to the Barbies to help ‘un-program’ them from Ken’s ‘Patriarchy’. The speech was beautifully accurate and I heard sniggers, huffs and agreeing call outs in the cinema by other women watching the film, confirming that the speech she gave about the thought processes women experience about their looks, behaviour, professions, relationships and how they are supposed to fit in this world based on what they’ve been told to believe and do, felt a huge area that needed addressing. How could the fact that women have been taught to (consciously or not) obsess over their size, how they look and knowing who they are be addressed in this Barbie film?

I was looking forward to seeing how they were going to do this.

And they started doing it by gathering the collective women who sat around the edges.

The ‘Weird Barbie’, who was the kindest, most generous, joyful, unique character, full of knowledge and resources for everyone was the key leader of the other rejected Barbies. This showed the incredible sisterhood wounding available that happens when women gather. In solidarity together, they had one cause and they connected to help and support each other in doing so. They no longer saw weird Barbie, as weird; she was a crucial part of the team. The toxicity of how the Barbies spoke of weird Barbie at the beginning of the film was long gone and celebration of all she had to offer was there; true inclusion was demonstrated in this circle of sisters. They held the Power and wisdom that needed to be shared with the other Barbies who were stuck in the matrix of Ken’s Patriarchy.

And as the mother gave the speech to each Barbie about the reality of life and what women endure and put up with, they started to break free and sat within their own individuality.

The role of this mother, made my heart leap, I resonated with her. She felt like the loving, firm voice of the divine feminine whispering her message. And these messages that this mother gave, the fiery talking, the honesty, were helping women to break free and rise up into their true selves.… this is the role that resonated because this is what I am here to do. The words the mother spoke, I have heard myself say to women countless times.

So now to come to the part that challenged me… the thing I didn’t enjoy in the step it took next, which was to continue the battle of the sexes. A battle of having a Patriarchal world versus a Matriarchal world and finding strength through the weakness of the other. It played out that the world could only work where one sex is dominant and the other submissive, with the battle to have a Matriarchal world with the men submissive to the women.

‘And so they should!’ I hear you cry ‘We’ve endured the Patriarchy for long enough!’

I hear you sister.

But the reality is, as we saw at the start of the Barbie movie and one many of us have experienced, that to have a world generally led by one sex, for one sex, the other misses out.

I would have really enjoyed seeing how the film would have addressed the issues that the mum was talking about to the Barbies, within the film.

How would the world change if Mums didn’t carry the load of having to do it all and be it all?

What would it look like having the Barbie’s empowered in living their life by having a combined supportive network of Kens and Barbies around her?

How would women’s self-esteem and confidence be affected if it wasn’t just based on what job they had and how they looked?

What would happen if women started to speak openly and honestly to the men in their lives while being big and loud?

How can we create a world that is evenly met with both men and women feeling valued in who they are and what they ‘do’?

I feel they absolutely gave it a good go, but I came away feeling like it wasn’t enough. I felt frustrated. I hoped that this wasn’t just a token gesture; at the very least I hoped it would open up important conversations. Which is what I am doing now, I suppose?

These may be the conversations we need to be having in our own homes, with our families, with our friends, of all genders. My feeling is that the only way we can rise in to empowered women, is to go through the descent of existential crisis. That’s where Barbie found herself, as she returned.

I would also have loved them to focus on the impact that Alan had in the film and the support he gave to the women, the Barbie ally. Because I actually feel that the only way we can bring these changes, is by supporting each other, where we can sit within our own feminine and masculine selves comfortably, for both men and women with compassion. To bring these changes together I would have liked to have seen a meeting of the Kens and Barbies working together to bring change to the world, without either of them having Power over the other… maybe that’s happing right now in the Barbie land parallel universe?

I feel that some people reading this will feel that the film did do all of this and more and disagree with me. Undoubtedly the film addressed some current, important topics, in a funny, accessible way.

For me, however it didn’t feel enough, which I’ve taken some time to really be with and address.

The conclusion I’ve come to, is that it didn’t feel enough to me because this topic is a huge drive of my work – I want our children to live in a world that has equal opportunities in equal partnership with men and women being advocates for each other. To do this, I really believe, that women need to bring the change for all, with the support of men and the masculine. We need to step fully into empowerment and joy alongside men and the masculine, not over… because Ken showed us that having a Matriarchal world was as toxic as it was a Patriarchal one.

It’s shown me that, the changes we might want to feel in the world, such as having more equal respect, love and opportunities for both men and women and between our masculine and feminine, is that we need more compassion, inclusivity and support for each other. We can only do this by listening, being honest with each other, by having some difficult conversations, alongside finding safer places, within which we can enjoy each other for who we truly are; rather than the jobs and roles we undertake, giving support to each other through the up and downs of life... It’s quite a ride!

And we’re only human after all.

Even as Barbie found out too.